Alright, so these Wall Street "analysts" are at it again, huh? S&P 500 hitting 8000 next year? Give me a freakin' break. It's like they're paid by the word to spew out the most optimistic BS imaginable. According to some, the
Stock market outlook: analysts see the S&P 500 hitting 8000 next year.
"Roaring 20s"? More Like Screaming Inflation
The "Roaring 2020s" Fantasy
Ed Yardeni, bless his heart, is still pushing this "Roaring 2020s" narrative. He's been at it since 2020! Six years of "roaring" and all I see is everyone struggling to afford groceries and gas. Maybe *he's* roaring all the way to the bank.
He says GDP growth and corporate profits are "chugging along." Chugging along like a rusty old tractor on its last legs, maybe. And "rolling recessions" hitting different industries? That's just a fancy way of saying the whole damn economy is a mess, but they don't want to scare the horses.
Deutsche Bank is even *more* bullish, predicting 8000. Seriously? What are they smoking over there? They see "equities continuing to benefit from the cross-asset inflows boom." Translation: rich people are still finding ways to get richer, while the rest of us are fighting over scraps.
AI Boom or Just Another Wall Street Pump-and-Dump?
The AI Hype Machine
And of course, the AI bubble gets a mention. JPMorgan thinks the S&P could hit 8000 if the Fed keeps cutting rates, thanks to the "AI capital spending boom." Oh yeah, because throwing money at AI startups that will probably be obsolete in six months is *totally* a sound economic strategy.
They say the "earnings benefit tied to deregulation and broadening AI-related productivity gains remain underappreciated." Underappreciated? It's completely *unproven*. It's a bunch of hype and hot air, and frankly, I'm sick of it.
Speaking of AI, Alphabet's stock went up on the news of Gemini 3. Good for them. Nvidia, the darling of the AI crowd, hasn't fully recovered. Maybe people are finally starting to realize that AI isn't a magic money tree.
Look, I get it. People want to be optimistic. They want to believe that things are going to get better. But this level of unbridled enthusiasm, especially from Wall Street types, just feels... disingenous. Are they really this clueless, or are they actively trying to pump up the market so they can cash out before it all comes crashing down? I don't know anymore.
Hawaii's Healthcare vs. Wall Street's Fantasies
Wait, What About Reality?
Meanwhile, back in the real world, Hawaii's health insurance rates are going up by an average of 11.6 percent. Eleven point six percent! And they're worried the rates will go *higher* if federal subsidies expire. So, while Wall Street is patting itself on the back for imaginary gains, regular people are struggling to afford basic healthcare. More information on
Enroll now: Open enrollment begins in Hawai‘i’s 2026 marketplace plans.
And Memphis just appointed a new city treasurer. Okay, that's… relevant how? I don't know. I needed a breather from all this market nonsense.
Maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe these analysts are right, and the S&P 500 really will hit 8000 next year. And maybe pigs will fly, and I'll win the lottery.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's all a house of cards built on hype, speculation, and wishful thinking. The market might go up, it might go down. But one thing's for sure: the rich will keep getting richer, and the rest of us will keep getting screwed. Ain't that the truth.
